Do You Give Too Much in Relationships: Codependency Recovery: Cultivating Self-Worth and Embracing Boundaries

Estimated read time 13 min read


Inner peace is a state of harmony and tranquility that many seek to achieve in their lives. For those struggling with codependency, finding inner peace can seem like an elusive goal. Codependency is a dysfunctional pattern of thinking and behavior that often arises from a lack of self-love and acceptance. However, through self-reflection, healing, and implementing healthy practices, it is possible to recover from codependency and cultivate inner peace.

The Impact of Codependency on Relationships

Codependency can have a significant impact on relationships. People who struggle with codependency often have difficulty setting boundaries, prioritizing their own needs, and communicating effectively. This can lead to a cycle of enabling unhealthy behaviors and feeling emotionally drained in relationships. Recovery from codependency involves learning how to develop healthier patterns of relating to oneself and others.

The Role of Self-Love and Acceptance in Codependency Recovery

Self-love and acceptance are crucial components of codependency recovery. By learning to love and accept oneself, individuals can begin to break free from the need for external validation and approval. This process often involves exploring childhood wounds and limiting beliefs, practicing self-compassion, and developing a strong sense of self-worth.

Setting Boundaries as a Form of Self-Care

One essential aspect of codependency recovery is setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Boundaries act as a protective shield, allowing individuals to prioritize their well-being and protect themselves from toxic or harmful dynamics. Establishing and enforcing boundaries may initially be challenging, but it is a vital step towards reclaiming one’s personal power and creating healthier relationships.

Prioritizing Mental Health and Seeking Support

Recovering from codependency requires prioritizing one’s mental health. This can involve seeking therapy or counseling to process and heal from past traumas and negative relationship patterns. Additionally, engaging in self-care practices such as mindfulness, journaling, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can support inner healing and promote overall well-being.

Quotes from Kristen Brown’s book “The Recovering People Pleaser”

“It’s not people touching our buttons that’s the problem; it’s that we have them to touch.”

“Shame and unworthiness are the dis-ease, and self-love is the miracle cure.”

“We are the elite guardians of our minds, bodies, and spirits. It is our duty to become our own best friends, advocates, and protectors.”

“Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary to move from surviving to thriving.”

“Boundaries are designed to protect and support our sacred selves.”

“Healthy boundaries are self-love in action.”

“Healthy boundaries are an organic response to self-worth.”

“Anything rooted in Love is always right – even when it’s love of self!”

“A well-set boundary gives the other person an opportunity to discover and heal disowned aspects of themselves.”

“It is up to us to love ourselves well and make solid decisions that support our well-being and the well-being of those dependent on us.”

“Being excellent guardians of our mental and emotional health will require doing hard things.”

“Surrender is not giving up on a situation – it is giving it over. It is not ‘thinking’ our way through life, but acting from divine inspiration.”


What is codependency?

Codependency is a dysfunctional pattern of behavior in which individuals prioritize others’ needs and desires above their own, often to the detriment of their own well-being. It may involve an excessive reliance on others for approval and validation.

How can self-love help in codependency recovery?

Self-love is a key component of codependency recovery. By learning to love oneself, individuals can develop a strong sense of self-worth, set boundaries, and prioritize their own well-being. Self-love helps in breaking free from the need for external validation and approval.

As Kristen Brown, spiritual and empowerment author and mentor, emphasizes:

“Self-love is the path to inner peace and codependency recovery. By practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your mental health, you can cultivate a deeper sense of love and acceptance for yourself. Remember, healthy relationships start with a healthy relationship with oneself.”

For more insightful guidance on codependency recovery and finding inner peace, you can visit Kristen Brown’s website or explore her books and resources.


In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, many people find themselves struggling with the need to please others at the expense of their own well-being. This pattern of behavior, often known as people-pleasing, can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and a loss of personal identity. However, with self-awareness and the willingness to change, it is possible to break free from this cycle and establish healthy boundaries that prioritize your own needs and desires. In this article, we will explore the concept of setting boundaries as a recovering people pleaser and delve into the empowering choices that can lead to a life filled with self-love and fulfillment.

Understanding People Pleasing

Before delving into the process of setting boundaries as a recovering people pleaser, it is essential to understand the roots of this behavior. People-pleasing often stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment. Individuals who engage in this pattern of behavior may have learned early on that their self-worth was tied to the approval and validation they received from others. Consequently, they may have developed a habit of constantly seeking external validation and prioritizing the needs of others over their own.

People pleasers often struggle with saying “no” and feel a strong sense of guilt or anxiety when they think about asserting their own needs. They may believe that by constantly accommodating others, they can ensure their own acceptance and love. However, this mindset often leads to a lack of boundaries that can be detrimental to one’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of self-care and self-preservation. By defining your limits and communicating them to others, you protect your own well-being and create space for your own needs and desires. Boundaries allow you to establish a sense of self-respect, which is essential for healthy relationships and personal growth.

When you set clear boundaries, you send a message to those around you that your needs are valid and deserve to be respected. This not only allows you to maintain your own sense of self-worth but also fosters healthier interactions with others. By setting boundaries, you can create more balanced and fulfilling relationships where mutual respect and understanding are prioritized.

The Process of Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries as a recovering people pleaser requires self-reflection, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth. Below are some steps to guide you through the process:

1. Recognize Your Patterns

Take the time to reflect on your people-pleasing tendencies and the impact they have had on your life. Identify the situations or individuals that trigger your need to please others and the consequences it has had on your sense of self-worth.

2. Connect with Your Needs and Desires

Develop a deeper understanding of your own needs and desires. Pay attention to your emotions and desires, and prioritize activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, your needs are just as important as those of others.

3. Practice Self-Care

Engage in self-care activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. This could involve setting aside time for meditation, exercise, creative pursuits, or spending quality time with loved ones. By prioritizing self-care, you reinforce your self-worth and create a foundation from which to set healthy boundaries.

4. Communicate Assertively

Learn to communicate your boundaries in a clear, respectful, and assertive manner. Practice saying “no” when something does not align with your needs or values, and express your preferences and limits confidently. Remember, setting boundaries does not mean being unkind or selfish; it is an act of self-respect and self-preservation.

5. Seek Support

Reach out to supportive friends, family members, or professionals who can provide guidance and encouragement on your journey towards setting boundaries. Surround yourself with individuals who respect and value your worth, and who can help you stay accountable to your goals.

Embracing Empowerment and Self-Love

As you begin to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you will likely experience a shift in your sense of empowerment and self-love. By prioritizing your own needs and desires, you reclaim your identity and open the door to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Remember, setting boundaries is an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and the willingness to prioritize your own well-being. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and empowerment, and celebrate each step you take towards living a life aligned with your own values and desires.


Setting boundaries as a recovering people pleaser is a transformative and empowering journey. By recognizing your patterns, connecting with your needs, and practicing self-care, you can reclaim your sense of self-worth and create healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, you are the ultimate guardian of your mind, body, and spirit, and it is your responsibility to prioritize self-love and make choices that support your well-being.

How can I overcome my fear of setting boundaries?

Overcoming your fear of setting boundaries starts with self-reflection and self-compassion. Understand that it is normal to feel anxious or guilty when asserting your needs, but remind yourself that prioritizing self-care is essential for your well-being. Seek support from loved ones or professionals who can provide guidance and encouragement as you navigate this process. Practice setting small boundaries and gradually work your way up to bigger ones. Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-love and self-preservation.

How do boundaries contribute to healthy relationships?

Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships as they foster mutual respect, understanding, and trust. By setting clear boundaries, you communicate your needs and expectations, which allows for open and honest communication. Boundaries create a sense of safety and help maintain a healthy balance between autonomy and connection. When both parties prioritize and respect each other’s boundaries, it leads to more fulfilling and sustainable relationships.

A Quote from Kristen Brown

“Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary to move from surviving to thriving.” – Kristen Brown, Spiritual and Empowerment Author and Mentor

For more guidance on setting boundaries and recovering from people-pleasing, you can visit Kristen Brown’s work with me page or explore her books and resources.

Healing from People-Pleasing: Codependency Recovery and Self-Compassion


Setting boundaries is an essential skill for cultivating healthy relationships, particularly for those recovering from people-pleasing tendencies. Many people who struggle with codependency or a strong need for others’ approval often find it difficult to say no, prioritize their own needs, or establish clear limits with others.

In this article, we will explore the concept of setting boundaries as a recovering people pleaser and how it can contribute to the development of healthier relationships. We will delve into the importance of self-love, the impact of codependency on relationships, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining boundaries.

The Impact of People-Pleasing on Relationships

People-pleasing tendencies can significantly impact relationships, often leading to an imbalance of power dynamics, resentment, and a lack of authentic connection. Those who tend to prioritize others’ needs over their own may find themselves constantly seeking validation and approval, sacrificing their own well-being in the process.

Codependency, a common pattern among recovering people pleasers, is characterized by excessive reliance on others for self-worth and identity. This can lead to a cycle of enabling behaviors, emotional manipulation, and a lack of personal boundaries in relationships.

Prioritizing Self-Love

One of the key aspects of recovering from people-pleasing tendencies is prioritizing self-love. By developing a strong sense of self-worth and acknowledging their own needs, individuals can create healthier relationships based on mutual respect and genuine connection.

Self-love involves recognizing and honoring personal boundaries, taking care of one’s physical and emotional well-being, and practicing self-compassion. By prioritizing self-love, recovering people-pleasers can break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and find fulfillment from within.

The Importance of Boundaries

Boundaries play a crucial role in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. They serve as guidelines that define acceptable behavior and create a safe space for individuals to express their needs and values. By setting clear boundaries, recovering people pleasers can protect their emotional well-being and foster healthier dynamics in their relationships.

Boundaries also help clarify expectations and responsibilities in relationships, preventing resentment and misunderstandings. They allow individuals to maintain a healthy sense of self and autonomy, while still being open and receptive to the needs and boundaries of others.

Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be challenging for recovering people pleasers, but with practice, it becomes easier. Here are some practical tips to help establish and maintain healthy boundaries:

1. Identify Your Values and Needs

Take some time to reflect on your values and needs in various areas of your life, such as relationships, work, and personal well-being. Understanding what is important to you will guide you in setting boundaries that align with your values.

2. Communicate Clearly

Effective communication is essential when setting boundaries. Clearly and assertively express your needs, limits, and expectations to others. Use “I” statements to communicate how certain behaviors make you feel and why setting the boundary is important to you.

3. Practice Self-Care

Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Taking care of yourself helps you establish and maintain boundaries by reinforcing your self-worth and making your well-being a priority.

4. Be Consistent and Firm

Consistency is key when it comes to maintaining boundaries. Stick to your boundaries and avoid making exceptions that undermine them. Be firm and assertive in enforcing your boundaries, even if it feels uncomfortable or confrontational.

5. Seek Support and Therapy

Recovering from people-pleasing behaviors and establishing healthy boundaries can be challenging. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or consider working with a therapist who specializes in codependency recovery and relationship dynamics.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can setting boundaries improve relationships?

Yes, setting boundaries can dramatically improve relationships. Clear boundaries create a foundation of respect and mutual understanding, leading to healthier dynamics and enhanced communication.

How can setting boundaries help recovering people pleasers?

Setting boundaries helps recovering people pleasers prioritize their own needs and build self-worth. By establishing and enforcing boundaries, they break free from codependency patterns and cultivate healthier relationships based on mutual respect.

In Conclusion

Unlocking healthy relationships as a recovering people pleaser requires an ongoing commitment to self-love and the establishment of clear boundaries. By prioritizing self-care, practicing effective communication, and seeking support, individuals can transform their relationships and break free from codependency. Remember, healthy boundaries are an essential aspect of cultivating fulfilling connections and should be embraced as acts of self-love.

For more guidance on developing healthy relationships and personal growth, visit Kristen Brown, Spiritual and Empowerment Author and Mentor.

: Healing from People-Pleasing: Codependency Recovery and Self-Compassion

Healing from People-Pleasing: Codependency Recovery and Self-Compassion

More about Do You Give or Love too Much in Relationships Codependency Recovery: Top Stories

Do You Give Too Much in Relationships: Codependency Recovery: Cultivating Self-Worth and Embracing Boundaries

Healing from People-Pleasing: Codependency Recovery and Self-Compassion

2023 Kristen Brown, Spiritual and Empowerment Author and Mentor – Do You Give or Love too Much in Relationships Codependency Recovery All Rights Reserved.

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